Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
From Unknown writer, 1847. Where it comes from
More classic jokes
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, it's only a joke.
Origin unknown (folk joke). Where it comes from
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change.
From Unknown, 1965. Where it comes from
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend.
Inside of a dog, it's too dark to read.
From Francis Bisson (horse version), 1943. Where it comes from
The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.
From Mark Twain, 1897. Where it comes from
If I had another face, do you think I'd be wearing this one?
Unverified legend. Where it comes from
I can resist everything except temptation.
From Oscar Wilde, 1892. Where it comes from
To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune.
To lose both looks like carelessness.
From Oscar Wilde, 1895. Where it comes from
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
From Mark Twain (as "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"), 1894. Where it comes from
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
From Anthony Oettinger (Harvard), 1966. Where it comes from
Why don't scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
I used to be a banker, but I lost interest.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.
It's impossible to put down.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing. It just waved.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why can't a bicycle stand up by itself?
Because it's two-tired.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
A horse walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the long face?"
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
"Doctor, doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains!"
"Well, pull yourself together."
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Two peanuts were walking down a dark street.
One of them was a-salted.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why don't skeletons fight each other?
They don't have the guts.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
"I'm hungry."
"Hi, Hungry. I'm Dad."
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.
It was tense.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high.
She looked surprised.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
A priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar.
The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, "Five beers, please."
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven ate nine.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
What do you call a fake noodle?
An impasta.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
What's brown and sticky?
A stick.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
What's black and white and red all over?
A newspaper.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why do birds fly south for the winter?
Because it's too far to walk.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
I'm on a seafood diet.
I see food and I eat it.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
Why did the banana go to the doctor?
It wasn't peeling well.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from
A guy walks into a bar.
Ouch.
Told everywhere; origin not traced yet. Where it comes from